(For When the Mystic Shit Doesn’t Work)
Not everyone finds comfort in rituals. Some feel like they’re going through the motions. Lighting a candle or writing a letter doesn’t always touch the ache.
I have rolled my eyes, cursed and sighed countless times when a ritual has been prescribed as a way to deal with crossing a threshold.
If you’re carrying too much pain, too much abandonment, too much of life’s brutal weight to find comfort in metaphors or mysticism. Honestly if you just want to say “fuck that” —this part is for you.
1. Don’t try to make it beautiful. Make it honest.
Forget the poetry. Try this:
- Open a doc or voice memo.
- Title it: “I don’t believe in this shit, but here’s where I am.”
- Let it rip. Swear. Cry. Be flat. Be numb. Be pissed. This is still becoming. Just with the masks off.
2. Ask one gritty question.
Nothing profound. Just real:
- “What actually matters today?”
- “What do I need to not completely break?”
- “Who do I secretly wish would show up for me right now?” Sit with it. No answers needed.
3. Do one small, un-heroic thing.
Not because it will heal you. But because it’s what’s next.
- Eat something warm.
- Make your bed.
- Step outside.
- Change your shirt. Tiny acts that whisper: “We’re still here.”
4. Screw the sacred. Try the ordinary.
Some find God in rituals. Others in spreadsheets, dogs, silence, or scaffolding. Sacred is whatever gets you through. You don’t need incense to be rising. You just need breath. Still here. Still going.
Becoming doesn’t mean your pain evaporates. It just means you’re starting to carry it differently. Not as proof you’re broken. But as proof you endured.
No candles. No declarations. Just truth and time.
And maybe that’s sacred enough.
